‘Twas the Night Before a Green Mama’s Christmas

‘Twas the night before a Green Mama’s Christmas, when all through the 400 square feet of her tiny house, all the creatures were discussing her latest essential oil d-CON mix. The organic cotton stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas didn’t forget to shop for sustainable stuffers at ThriveMarket.com this year.

The 100% organic-fed children were nestled all snug in their flame retardant-free pajamas, while visions of refined sugar plums danced in their heads. And Green Mama in her thrifted ‘kerchief, and I in my 100% wool cap, had just settled down on our Naturopedic mattress.

When out on the solar panelled roof there arose such a clatter, that I sprang from my GOTS-certified sheets to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the Low-VOC painted shutter, and threw up the secondhand sash.

A Green Mama’s Night Before Christmas

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of midday to objects below, when, what to my toxin researching eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny 100% grass-fed reindeer.

With a little old driver, so naturally immune and regular due to large amounts of elderberry gummies and probioticsupplements, I knew in a moment it must be Green Living St. Nick. More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,and he whistled and shouted and called them by name: Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

“As dry leaves for that before the wild hurricane fly,when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of experience gifts, and Green St. Nicholas, too.

A Green mama’s night before Christmas

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a green smoothie-induced bound. He was dressed all in consigned fur, from his head to his foot, and his already off-gassed clothing was all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of plastic-free toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes–how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like fair-trade roses, his nose like a pesticide-free cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the organically oiled beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a lead-free CBD pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a freshly harvested evergreen wreath.

He had a broad Beautycounter moisturized face free from endocrine-disrupting chemicals and a little round shrinking belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of probiotic gelatin.

He was somewhat chubby and a wee tad plump, a right jolly old peppermint essential oiled elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but promptly removed his shoes and went straight to the meditation corner for five minutes of belly breathing and positive affirmations, filled all the stockings with handmade vegan candies in reusable beeswax wraps, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose, taking a quick swig of the Berkey filtered water in his reusable stainless steel cup and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,”Happy Zero Waste, Sustainable, Ethically Sourced, 100% Organic, Non-GMO Verified Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

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